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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7292
  • Number of comments : 884
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Excuse the username, I am a gentleman.

Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>tehaustiebear</b> - 16 hours ago<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - yesterday at 5:50am<b>Noremac42</b> - yesterday at 5:02am<b>BunchieRules</b> - yesterday at 4:55am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - yesterday at 10:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>groovy579</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:04pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:40pm<b>TombRaider</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:06pm<b>mister_icicle</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:51pm<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:25am<b>Klivefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:18am<b>Crossslide69</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:07pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:05am<b>fader48080</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:20pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:00pm<b>dettesuger</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:21pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44923) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36193) - you deserved it (3307)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51101) - you deserved it (5306)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (4597)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43833) - you deserved it (4000)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (10187)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50870) - you deserved it (5268)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47413) - you deserved it (5216)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17076) - you deserved it (44095)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86158) - you deserved it (6178)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)



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