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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/03/2014 at 2:21am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6643
  • Number of comments : 855
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello. Feel free to send me a message if y'all wanna talk or so. I like meeting new people. Other than that, happy fml'ing! :)

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>auddey</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Nakor28</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:03am<b>annie_potter_</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:15pm<b>jlang917</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Docbee</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:53pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:57pm<b>thatguy7878</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:45am<b>Hannahmgp</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:07am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:38am<b>GucciFrog</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:21pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:20pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:06pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:40pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:31pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:27pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:15am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:53am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (2923)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (21444)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (4714)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (6453)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (10891)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (3867)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36438) - you deserved it (7146)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (3371)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55773) - you deserved it (12461)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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