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PenguinBitch

17Liked!

PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9482
  • Number of comments : 1000
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Omg 1000+ comments. No badge? :/

Anyway, I want to thank myself for stumbling upon this site and also for giving a fuck and yeah.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Futacy</b> - 12 hours ago<b>connorgrant98</b> - 17 hours ago<b>AHzulu</b> - yesterday at 10:46am<b>thewalid</b> - yesterday at 8:52am<b>sophiehelen</b> - yesterday at 6:14am<b>AlaskanG</b> - yesterday at 4:55am<b>packrat</b> - yesterday at 3:38am<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - yesterday at 12:58am<b>MidnaLink</b> - yesterday at 10:20pm<b>teentee401</b> - yesterday at 9:53pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 12:36am<b>YAAAAAAYYYYYY</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:04am<b>NicoNicoSamaChan</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:55pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:28am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:22am<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:15pm

Liked!<b>sophiehelen</b> - 24 hours ago<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:01pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:19am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:25pm<b>whateven104</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:23pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:40pm<b>anonymous61203</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:12pm<b>georgiapeachh</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:08am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:31pm<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:22pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:15am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:29pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (16299)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (4738)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34096) - you deserved it (7678)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (16929)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37924) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (5421)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (17800)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (3704)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39895) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (8175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)



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