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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10287
  • Number of comments : 1049
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Real me: I'm a business student. Bilingual, going for tri. I'm a morning person. Movie goer. Love to make film with my phone. Favorite shows: Lost, Breaking Bad, Greys Anatomy. Music varies from Queen, Bruno Mars, The Doors and even classical..all the good stuff. Hockey and futbol.

FML PenguinB.: has more badges than most of you. Sarcastic. Friendly. Loves to reference shows, movies, etc in his comments. Also, don't get your shorts in a knot. Have a sense of humour and don't take things toooooo freaken seriously. Want to guess who? They have a cactus up their ass.

PenguinBitch's page activity

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Liked!<b>LeavenSilva</b> - just now<b>gerardtheneko</b> - 11 hours ago<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 4:15am<b>LaurenRoxsU</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:07am<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:44pm<b>jeannemarieh</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:56am<b>jslowey</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:06pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:04am<b>sophiehelen</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:14pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:01pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:19am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:25pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (5722)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (5081)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52203) - you deserved it (19065)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (16311)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (4741)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (7723)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (16939)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (3044)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (3436)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43747) - you deserved it (7219)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (5427)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41375) - you deserved it (17806)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (3718)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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