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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 7:50am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7583
  • Number of comments : 884
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch :

Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:22pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:05pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:29am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Crossslide69</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:53pm<b>incognito1520</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:53pm<b>ca12</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:14pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:06am<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:50am<b>Noremac42</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:02am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:55am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>groovy579</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:04pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:40pm<b>TombRaider</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:06pm<b>mister_icicle</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:51pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39422) - you deserved it (6430)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (8096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41101) - you deserved it (7753)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML

#21078096
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (5531)

On 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by cubs44fan - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (11813)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41863) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50476) - you deserved it (9269)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (5163)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (6085)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41734) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53820) - you deserved it (6639)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47003) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47282) - you deserved it (7013)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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