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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8495
  • Number of comments : 942
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling :)

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>JS47</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Fuhkyoo</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:35pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:21pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:46am<b>fedorov5549</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:10am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>DO24SS</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:19am<b>jessal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:39pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:35pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:18pm<b>broohaha</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:03pm<b>ChelseaSmile001</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:48pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:43pm<b>IAMKDI</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Chaoticthor</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:13am

Liked!<b>anonymous61203</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:12pm<b>georgiapeachh</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:08am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:31pm<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:22pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:15am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:29pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (20058)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51928) - you deserved it (19001)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48670) - you deserved it (16276)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (7673)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (16911)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (7201)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (5416)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41311) - you deserved it (17789)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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