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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

29Liked!

PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10243
  • Number of comments : 1047
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : I have a good sense of humor and most of my comments emit a bit a more sarcastic, dark humor tone, so understand it's all In good fun.

Music varies from Queen, Bruno Mars, The Doors...all the good stuff.

I've noticed I have a pretty decent amount of badges. I'm into badges now so you'd better be okay with it!!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Marie54321</b> - 41 minutes ago<b>Pleonasm</b> - 5 hours ago<b>firelegend</b> - 15 hours ago<b>iAmPaul</b> - 21 hours ago<b>jkp1291</b> - 21 hours ago<b>djurmel89</b> - yesterday at 4:38pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - yesterday at 2:52pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:37pm<b>EverVanity</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:20pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:56am<b>Rainb0wdash9</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:53am<b>madpony101</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:47am<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:00pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 5:40pm<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:57pm<b>redrain567</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:48pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:46pm<b>BennyK90</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:58am

Liked!<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Azang7</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:32am<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 3:44am<b>colby6666</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 4:15am<b>LaurenRoxsU</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:07am<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:44pm<b>jeannemarieh</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:56am<b>jslowey</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:06pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:04am<b>sophiehelen</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:14pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:01pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:19am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:25pm<b>whateven104</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:23pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:14am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of PenguinBitch's badges

PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (5854)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (2213)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35689) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37983) - you deserved it (4926)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48713) - you deserved it (8866)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37229) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (45478)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38809) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (36130)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (22580)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (8433)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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