PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

94Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20772
  • Number of comments : 1129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Alderaan was the newest member of the United Federation of Planets. Unfortunately, the once stable black hole connecting Alderaan and the Federation, destabilized. The distress signal received from StarFleet was lost, leading to the destruction of Alderaan by the Galactic Empire.

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 7:31am<b>JacobIsANoob</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 5:46pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 7:47pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:40pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ecot95</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 5:42am<b>Zeldawarriorxo</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 12:00pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:06am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Jaraxxus</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:32pm<b>pandor</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 8:34pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:58pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:39pm<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:45pm<b>peeta0330</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 9:28am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:30am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:57am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 8:41pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:31pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:09am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>MrsDovahkiin</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:02pm<b>TripleDallas123</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 6:43am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>jay11kpt</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>klutz44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:10am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:01am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:24am<b>CaletheLion</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:18am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:36am

PenguinBitch's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

by TuT / 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm / France / Love

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

by Jenniesaurus / 09/04/2014 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

by ch4nny / 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

by alanh69 / 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm / Latvia (Riga) / Work