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PenguinBitch

14Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8905
  • Number of comments : 968
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy Fml'ing!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>katebond</b> - yesterday at 10:02am<b>dainy128</b> - yesterday at 4:27am<b>shaar</b> - yesterday at 11:22pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:22am<b>mafuyu</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:22am<b>ecot95</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:54pm<b>gilliano</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:16pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:17pm<b>hard_candy</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:42am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:35am<b>Nexpecto</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:06pm<b>rachelnicole543</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>vintageart1994</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Ryiah</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:21pm<b>CommanderColton</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:06pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:36pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:12pm<b>assh0l3</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:09pm

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (6889)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (4482)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (9383)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (6380)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a 'young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans' crackpot. FML

#20896509
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (7188)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:06am - love - by GodSquad (man) - United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (34034)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (88912)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

#20878417
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40549) - you deserved it (6566)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm - work - by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56274) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (6518)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51604) - you deserved it (18784)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50599) - you deserved it (3952)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (3069)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)



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