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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch

56Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13297
  • Number of comments : 1088
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : Congratulations. You have now reached the end of FML. Go any deeper and you will reach the void. Goodbye. ✌🏼️

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>EddySaBoy</b> - yesterday at 10:14am<b>ryerye942</b> - yesterday at 3:02am<b>yasss</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>annie_potter_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:58am<b>ginnylin</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:58pm<b>jadenjacksonm</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:15am<b>cutiepie292929</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:58am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:48am<b>BIGGItheTexan</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:16am<b>brutally</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:13am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:32am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:38pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:06pm<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:15pm<b>lucythomson</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:05pm<b>addisonrose12</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:48pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:41am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>interesting33</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:08pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:17am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:47am<b>Drarry</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:17am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:25am<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:06am<b>skye147</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:03am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:43pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:53pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:32am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:44am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:58pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:14am

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (3921)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39091) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (3566)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (11300)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (15690)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (53260)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (15428)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (2631)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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