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PenguinBitch

Offline (the 07/03/2014 at 2:21am) | Search for a member

PenguinBitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6444
  • Number of comments : 850
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Hello. Feel free to send me a message if y'all wanna talk or so. I like meeting new people. Other than that, happy fml'ing! :)

P.s. Enough with the "why did op deserve it?" comments. If you pay close attention, there's a button called "you deserved it" where users can click on the button. Call me crazy but it's there!

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>l248xt</b> - 3 hours ago<b>ecommander77</b> - 5 hours ago<b>GalaticStatic</b> - 12 hours ago<b>bingo__O</b> - yesterday at 1:28pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:32pm<b>BSnapZ</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:58pm<b>ApologyKick</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:43am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:30am<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:50pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:04pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:52pm<b>___J____J__oo</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:18pm<b>swagboi69</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:12am<b>iBowdenzz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:49am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:47am<b>LifeMD</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:46am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:08am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (5109)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31559) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (16577)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47595) - you deserved it (15327)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (6937)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38919) - you deserved it (15977)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (2704)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (2990)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41147) - you deserved it (6815)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (4925)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (17273)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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