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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8486
  • Number of comments : 942
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About PenguinBitch : Happy FML'ling :)

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>JS47</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Fuhkyoo</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:35pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:21pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:46am<b>fedorov5549</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:10am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>DO24SS</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:06am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:19am<b>jessal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:39pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:35pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:18pm<b>broohaha</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:03pm<b>ChelseaSmile001</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:48pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:43pm<b>IAMKDI</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Chaoticthor</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:13am

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (4551)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (10505)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (15538)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (51480)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (14384)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (3451)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (4392)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (5279)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41692) - you deserved it (7865)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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