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PenguinBitch

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PenguinBitchPenguinBitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9416
  • Number of comments : 996
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About PenguinBitch : ATTENTION! You have reached the end of FML. By now you are tired and probably seek psychological help.
Please try the following:

1) Go out and get some fresh air.
2) Start reading all these books you were too "busy" to read before.
3) Educate yourself on proper wand enchantments and spells.
4) Eat healthy.

HTTP 405 - End of FML reached
*static noise*

PenguinBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - 20 hours ago<b>YAAAAAAYYYYYY</b> - yesterday at 3:04am<b>NicoNicoSamaChan</b> - yesterday at 10:43pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - yesterday at 8:55pm<b>skylercoombs</b> - yesterday at 8:21pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:28am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:22am<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:15pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:00am<b>ona16</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:27am<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:11am<b>GOGETFUCKED</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:29pm<b>yuzuhere</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:58pm<b>TimeCapsula</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:14pm<b>WeLikeIke</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:39am<b>Zayys</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:42am<b>vlalam</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:55am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:00am

Liked!<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:01pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:19am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:25pm<b>whateven104</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:23pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:40pm<b>anonymous61203</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:12pm<b>georgiapeachh</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:08am<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:31pm<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:22pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:15am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:10am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:29pm

PenguinBitch's FML badges

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PenguinBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (4739)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35947) - you deserved it (2628)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

#21313942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (3618)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36186) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (3475)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41495) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (2414)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (4754)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (11075)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (15633)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (52078)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML



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