Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About PenguinBitch : Real me: I'm a business student. Bilingual, going for tri. I'm a morning person. Movie goer. Love to make film with my phone. Favorite shows: Lost, Breaking Bad, Greys Anatomy. Music varies from Queen, Bruno Mars, The Doors and even classical..all the good stuff. Hockey and futbol.
FML PenguinB.: has more badges than most of you. Sarcastic. Friendly. Loves to reference shows, movies, etc in his comments. Also, don't get your shorts in a knot. Have a sense of humour and enjoy many of the users here.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Picture this FML
You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Friday 30 January 2015