About PandaFluid : Herp derp. FML is the one app that'll cheer me up no matter how sad I am... Mainly because I know that there are always people who will have worse luck than me. Am I a bad person for laughing at others' bad luck? Doubt it.
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PandaFluid's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by signinept / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
by nipped / 09/16/2009 at 9:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
by boytoy / 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
by poop / 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by bluntedone / 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
by killmyself / 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I met the girl I've always wanted. She's cute, adorable, nice, and we have a lot in common.… Today, my new husband and I embarked on our honeymoon together that has been months in the planning… Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there…