About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?
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Omegadolly's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2015 at 11:40am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by TimJack18 / 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by anonymous / 11/12/2014 at 12:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
- Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity… Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we… Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I…