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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (3504)
On 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by simonjudy (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11165) - you deserved it (32262)
On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (5793)
On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (3856)
On 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm - misc - by Tara (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (3996)
Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (3860)
On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (15972)
On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (39434)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (21464)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (16249)
On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (6509)
On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (5739)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (46697)
On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14165) - you deserved it (27346)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (9130)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:08am - love - by husks -
Monday 20 May 2013
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