About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?
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Omegadolly's favorite FMLs
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
by Ineedlotsofwater / 01/23/2015 at 11:41am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 8:45am / United States / Love
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2015 at 11:40am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by TimJack18 / 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML
by anonix / 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm / Canada / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
by embarrassed / 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous