Omegadolly

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Omegadolly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11644
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:28am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:11am<b>bklswagger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:39pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:17am<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:17am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:32pm<b>omgwhatisthis</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:11am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>fotocand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:48am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:54am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:15am<b>squadoodle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:21am<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:07pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:25am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:09am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:44am

Omegadolly's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Omegadolly's badges

Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

by ChildishKeynote / 08/02/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

by Iarla_ceapaire93 / 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 5:08am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

by broke and hungry / 05/30/2015 at 2:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

by oops / 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2015 at 9:47am / United States / Health

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

by NevertheKool / 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money