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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12777) - you deserved it (21328)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (10529)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19461) - you deserved it (1487)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (20571)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19539) - you deserved it (4297)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (31484)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (1485)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:52am - animals - by JukeboxValkyrie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7366) - you deserved it (21052)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (2534)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (2455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16509) - you deserved it (23936)
On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (4427)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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