Omegadolly

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Omegadolly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11662
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:28am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:11am<b>bklswagger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:39pm<b>kirstyfunnybunny</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:17am<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:17am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:32pm<b>omgwhatisthis</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:11am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>fotocand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:48am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:54am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:15am<b>squadoodle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:21am<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:07pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:25am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:09am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:44am

Omegadolly's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

by still laughing / 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

by morethanablondemoment / 08/28/2015 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

by FishFlingingMonkey / 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

by bandaidstations / 08/16/2015 at 11:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

by monster1109 / 08/10/2015 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous