Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omegadolly

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Omegadolly

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4569
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - 21 hours ago<b>mmtiki</b> - yesterday at 9:25am<b>starcaller17</b> - yesterday at 9:09am<b>Mornai</b> - yesterday at 8:44am<b>sisas</b> - yesterday at 6:23am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:18pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:28pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:04am<b>maddiemae99</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:49am<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:57pm<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:54pm<b>birdbirdbiiiird</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 1:11am<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:22pm<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:44pm<b>AboveAll04</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 4:07am<b>carcinogenic</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:40am<b>profligatesoul</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:57am

Omegadolly's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Omegadolly's badges

Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (4517)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (5265)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (39959)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (2389)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46772) - you deserved it (3797)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (8695)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (5737)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37252) - you deserved it (5002)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38081) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (3394)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (44447)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: