About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?
Omegadolly's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Omegadolly's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
by Sammmmi / 06/22/2016 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML
by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, five minutes into a first date with a woman I really wanted to impress, we got on to a very busy train. I was so concerned with making sure that my backpack didn't get caught in the closing doors that I forgot to worry about my head. FML
by dannidoll93 / 06/15/2016 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Transportation
Today, I was using the restroom at a gas station when someone hurriedly knocked on the door. Thinking that it was my sister, I playfully said, "Hold up, hoe!" I opened the door to see a goth woman with an edgy haircut giving me a death stare. FML
by Watsausrname / 06/13/2016 at 10:31pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 1:05am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML
by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work
Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML
by lmaofuck / 05/25/2016 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by sociallyawkward / 05/18/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I met with a student in office hours to discuss an assignment when my nose started bleeding. I didn't know at first, so I blew my nose and an inhuman amount of blood sprayed out the side of the tissue all over my desk, the wall, and the student's paper. It looked like a murder scene. FML
by the bleeder / 05/13/2016 at 1:05am / Miscellaneous
by MJensen / 05/10/2016 at 5:57pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
by SoGoodAtLife / 03/09/2016 at 2:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work