About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?
Omegadolly's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Omegadolly's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 1:05am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML
by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work
Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML
by lmaofuck / 05/25/2016 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by sociallyawkward / 05/18/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I met with a student in office hours to discuss an assignment when my nose started bleeding. I didn't know at first, so I blew my nose and an inhuman amount of blood sprayed out the side of the tissue all over my desk, the wall, and the student's paper. It looked like a murder scene. FML
by the bleeder / 05/13/2016 at 1:05am / Miscellaneous
by MJensen / 05/10/2016 at 5:57pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
by SoGoodAtLife / 03/09/2016 at 2:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
by speed-dialing dr kevorkian / 02/27/2016 at 2:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 9:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rushed over to stop my infant daughter from falling off her swing. Luckily just before she hit the ground, I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up because I'd rolled off my bed and hit the floor. FML
by MandieL / 01/30/2016 at 3:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by jimmy_morton / 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous