Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omegadolly

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Omegadolly

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4277
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:07pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:28pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:04am<b>maddiemae99</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:49am<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:57pm<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:54pm<b>birdbirdbiiiird</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 1:11am<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:22pm<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:44pm<b>AboveAll04</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 4:07am<b>carcinogenic</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:40am<b>profligatesoul</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:57am<b>Bart_Simpson</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 9:33pm

Omegadolly's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Omegadolly's badges

Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13641) - you deserved it (24815)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (1833)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (2903)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (8195)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28334) - you deserved it (6927)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (5004)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33853) - you deserved it (4649)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (4684)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (3368)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (43387)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42445) - you deserved it (16057)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (4260)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: