Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omegadolly

Online | Search for a member

Omegadolly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9898
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:17am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:32pm<b>omgwhatisthis</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:11am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>fotocand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:48am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:54am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:15am<b>squadoodle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:21am<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:07pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:25am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:09am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:44am<b>sisas</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:23am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:28pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:04am<b>maddiemae99</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:49am

Omegadolly's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Omegadolly's badges

Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (5229)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (4842)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

#21420583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (1935)

On 06/04/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

#21418098
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (4524)

On 05/30/2015 at 2:53pm - money - by broke and hungry - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
69 comments

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (8712)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

#21407700
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (4527)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16600) - you deserved it (24373)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (5554)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (5798)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (2679)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (2479)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (1850)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: