Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Omegadolly

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Omegadolly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8979
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Omegadolly : If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

Omegadolly's page activity

Visits<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:17am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:32pm<b>omgwhatisthis</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:11am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>fotocand</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:48am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:54am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:15am<b>squadoodle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:21am<b>andy594328</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:07pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:25am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:09am<b>Mornai</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:44am<b>sisas</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:23am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:28pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:04am<b>maddiemae99</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 12:49am<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:57pm

Omegadolly's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Omegadolly's badges

Omegadolly's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (5085)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (5486)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (2677)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (2470)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (1848)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (6570)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (6570)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (6570)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (6356)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (19582)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (20)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (8233)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (5472)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: