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Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (73779)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11511) - you deserved it (58227)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (10894)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (2193)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41953) - you deserved it (5805)
On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (22152)
On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17925)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41336) - you deserved it (1502)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57464) - you deserved it (6154)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119380) - you deserved it (5924)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (5074)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (11545)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (78435) - you deserved it (4702)
On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands
Today, it was my first big time art show. To celebrate I went out to lunch with some people who's work was also there. When we got back police where every where. Someone had broken and stolen all of the art. All except mine. Even burglars don't want my art. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (3633)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:54am - work - by not_dead_yet (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (34345)
On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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