Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ninjaface

Search for a member

Ninjaface

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9769
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ninjaface's page activity

Visits<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>gamergirl8525</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:07am<b>kbug_24</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:33pm<b>melons</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:53pm<b>valalvax</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:28pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:05pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 1:49pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 3:50pm<b>jakeaniter</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 7:06am<b>chippa</b> - the 12/06/2012 at 2:14am<b>britney190</b> - the 01/07/2010 at 1:57am<b>gurlynat</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 10:23am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/28/2009 at 9:35am<b>Malika</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 7:02pm<b>Aeval_Fae</b> - the 11/17/2009 at 6:06am<b>Found_a_landmine</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 10:30pm<b>Shereen15</b> - the 11/06/2009 at 2:00pm

Ninjaface's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ninjaface's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (3724)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12562) - you deserved it (34125)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (2629)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (3405)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (32640)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11380) - you deserved it (33735)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

#6318893
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (2039)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58855) - you deserved it (3600)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (36920)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

#6287730
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (2531)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:13pm - work - by fuckedup (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (47805)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40154) - you deserved it (5215)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

#6283712
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (1870)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (8435)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: