Ninjaface

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Ninjaface

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13408
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ninjaface's page activity

Visits<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 9:56am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:52am<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:17pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:40pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:45am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:20am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:23pm<b>sofakingmexican</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:01pm<b>kukri187</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:08pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:27pm<b>pris0027</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:33am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:08am<b>daydreamer244</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:39pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>gamergirl8525</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:07am<b>kbug_24</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:33pm

Fucked!<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 3:56pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:08am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:27am

Ninjaface's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ninjaface's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

by xXxJoe16xXx / 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

by IndieRox / 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

by chacha / 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

by Fmyoffice / 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Work

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

by anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

by CombatShadow45 / 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

by deathbysnoosnoo / 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

by bmonehh / 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.