Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (the 07/19/2014 at 11:59am) | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10883
  • Number of comments : 777
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>Fooflybag</b> - 8 hours ago<b>nineteen99</b> - yesterday at 9:33am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Thedudebroman</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:50pm<b>boxofries</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:18pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:35pm<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:38am<b>Hashk</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:26am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:20pm<b>coolifly</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Firewar</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:32pm<b>shine999</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:16pm<b>MrsDavehn</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:54pm<b>jaquie0812</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:55am<b>Brittany_Leann</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:25am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:22am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:15am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:58am

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35769) - you deserved it (5060)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (3782)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10876) - you deserved it (57589)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (5956)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

#20399685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16191) - you deserved it (9853)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17690) - you deserved it (7498)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (5709)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (5709)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5083) - you deserved it (73448)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (7938)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: