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About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrestd, an we all got find 4 creating a public disturbance. When I explaind I wasn't with them, the group backd me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, an now I have to go to court. real FML
my grlfriend dumpd me fir cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a grl. Pretty damning, except she loadd it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd usd to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
yesterday mah future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop cuz it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny an "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Today I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML
Today... I Was Denounced For Bieng A Terrible Person... Because Mah Family Raises Chickens... Some Of Which We Eat. I Was Then Told How Cruel I Am For "killing Innocent Birds" And That "good" People Buy There Meat From The Supermarket. FML
Today , I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history , but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it . She believed him an I got grounded , much to his amusement . I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life . FML
TODAY, IT'S ONLY DAY OFF WORK IN AHILE. I TOLD BOSS I'D BE AVAILABLE VIA PHONE IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES. SO FAR I'VE BEEN CALLD THREE TIMES: TO ASK HOW THE FAX WORKS, TO LET ME KNOW IT'S A SLOW DAY, AND TO ASK MEHERE THE LETTER R IS ON A KEYBOARD. FML
Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML
Today, I Forgot To Log Out Of Mah Facebook Account Before Leaving Fir Work. When I Got Back Home, I Discovered That Mah Brother Had Gone Through And Commented ( Quack ) On All Mah Friend's Duckfacing Photos. She Was Not Pleased. FML
Friday 27 March 2015