Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11283
  • Number of comments : 790
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>stewpididiot</b> - yesterday at 10:42am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:52am<b>Brianna_Ray</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:16pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:27pm<b>emturner</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:28am<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>kolk777</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:18pm<b>leesuhxo</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:51pm<b>ss521</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:40am<b>okibi1</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:20pm<b>torchic2blaziken</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>TheLydster</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:59am<b>the_zero_article</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:41pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Sebby_P1441</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:43pm<b>EvanGauger</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:57pm<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:34pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46803) - you deserved it (5492)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (12386)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (44218)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60511) - you deserved it (20225)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (19300)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (6117)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (6482)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (6672)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (5923)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33448) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (50746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (3334)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40867) - you deserved it (3848)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (4290)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: