Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13145
  • Number of comments : 821
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>Ltsdragons</b> - one hour ago<b>derp_taco</b> - 21 hours ago<b>boomergrl</b> - yesterday at 3:13pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - yesterday at 7:22am<b>mip_92</b> - yesterday at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:52pm<b>BigMeepers</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:00am<b>random_cashmere</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>123ika</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:59am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:54am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:11am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:00am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:26pm<b>chandlerjohnvy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:34am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:19am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:43am

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (43205)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (5264)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63594) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (15316)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (7851)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (20976)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (3557)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33062) - you deserved it (11348)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (60071)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

#11712585
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (35453)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (25043)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (4909)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: