Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Online | Search for a member

NeatNit

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23036
  • Number of comments : 934
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>bazzerbear1</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:46pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:08pm<b>2ophiia</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:02am<b>rshweky</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:30am<b>dudealone</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm<b>babykakes15</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:15pm<b>chelsealou1218</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:54pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:15pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>tuslaw12</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:39pm<b>chazzywazzy654</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:04am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:56am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:08pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Ricky54</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:36pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:02pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:31pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:14am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am

NeatNit's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49547) - you deserved it (10190)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (8451)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (10301)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (5396)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15043) - you deserved it (64066)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50330) - you deserved it (3963)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (7442)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74147) - you deserved it (6997)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60951) - you deserved it (7178)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (5102)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43359) - you deserved it (27898) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

#14585633
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (10137)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16718) - you deserved it (51380)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

#14174315
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (7628)

On 12/12/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: