Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Online | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11270
  • Number of comments : 790
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>stewpididiot</b> - 22 hours ago<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 10:52am<b>Brianna_Ray</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:16pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:27pm<b>emturner</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:28am<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>kolk777</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:18pm<b>leesuhxo</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:51pm<b>ss521</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:40am<b>okibi1</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:20pm<b>torchic2blaziken</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>TheLydster</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:59am<b>the_zero_article</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:41pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Sebby_P1441</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:43pm<b>EvanGauger</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:57pm<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:34pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (20941)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (11331)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (59996)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

#11712585
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (35393)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (3879)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (24998)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27190) - you deserved it (4903)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (5395)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (10796)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6530) - you deserved it (49688)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (3183)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

#9157788
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (34679)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: