Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Online | Search for a member

NeatNit

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23035
  • Number of comments : 934
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>bazzerbear1</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:46pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:08pm<b>2ophiia</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:02am<b>rshweky</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:30am<b>dudealone</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm<b>babykakes15</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:15pm<b>chelsealou1218</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:54pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:15pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>tuslaw12</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:39pm<b>chazzywazzy654</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:04am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:56am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:08pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Ricky54</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:36pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:02pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:31pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:14am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am

NeatNit's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

#15739241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (3371)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:08am - work - by Shamdog48 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

#15703815
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (4137)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36751) - you deserved it (13739)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (26072)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49369) - you deserved it (16165)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55506) - you deserved it (27792)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55506) - you deserved it (27792)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44807) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44807) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (3361)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (5184)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

#15464818
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (4687)

On 03/24/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by chi_chia - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (32149)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (7896)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6576)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: