Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11482
  • Number of comments : 795
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>nataliewby</b> - 6 hours ago<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Bloink</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Enslaved</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Polynomial</b> - 17 hours ago<b>darkangel117</b> - 23 hours ago<b>MissEris</b> - yesterday at 1:14pm<b>ijustgiveup</b> - yesterday at 7:24am<b>kylaann</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:36am<b>tylerp501</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:58pm<b>jaquie0812</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:04pm<b>peceout</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:00am<b>over9000skittles</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:53pm<b>stewpididiot</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:42am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:52am<b>Brianna_Ray</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:16pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:27pm<b>emturner</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:28am

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (5250)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13799) - you deserved it (60277)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (3696)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (6936)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69622) - you deserved it (6562)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56978) - you deserved it (6755)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40059) - you deserved it (26539) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (2546)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14887) - you deserved it (48471)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

#14174315
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (7210)

On 12/12/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (6075)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (4578)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

#13810188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2743)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: