Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22671
  • Number of comments : 920
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>FlyestBoy</b> - 10 hours ago<b>PremiumWhale</b> - yesterday at 6:39pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>abattior</b> - yesterday at 2:04am<b>ThisGirlx</b> - yesterday at 11:54pm<b>kangx1</b> - yesterday at 11:03pm<b>feetlvr</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:16pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:25am<b>xmann277</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:26am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:12am<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:20pm<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:34am<b>mds9986</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:37pm<b>snowman5454</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:36pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>percussionnerd</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:25pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:16am

Fucked!<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:14am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am

NeatNit's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (8898)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (6077)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9667) - you deserved it (25842)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35311) - you deserved it (21402)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10762) - you deserved it (21211)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40911) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68561) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51732) - you deserved it (27000)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (6117)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2601)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

#16057937
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61948) - you deserved it (4882)

On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: