About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
by Norah / 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm / United States / Transportation
by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
by blah / 07/21/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Health
by Username / 07/21/2011 at 7:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2011 at 4:40am / Austria / Intimacy
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…