Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20665
  • Number of comments : 887
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - 2 hours ago<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:44am<b>thesawgmizer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:59pm<b>ari_x3dv</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:45pm<b>katjas</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:27pm<b>kkuruno</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:01pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:43am<b>Alm1ghty_Push</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:20pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:46pm<b>summerlong</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:45am<b>Dustdevil</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:19pm<b>chandeliers</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:24am<b>l_dunno</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:02am<b>swag420xoxo</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:13pm<b>jaredph</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:02am<b>upandover</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:12am

Fucked!<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44358) - you deserved it (14754)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34678) - you deserved it (6465)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
577 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97439) - you deserved it (10771)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17596) - you deserved it (43113)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (7184)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (13133)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (43185)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10403) - you deserved it (44343)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10403) - you deserved it (44343)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (3090)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48881) - you deserved it (9202)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9444) - you deserved it (32699)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52040) - you deserved it (17628)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while we were acting in a play. FML

#16323253
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (3049)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (8889)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: