Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13188
  • Number of comments : 821
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>Ltsdragons</b> - yesterday at 6:26pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:39pm<b>boomergrl</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:13pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:22am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:24am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:52pm<b>BigMeepers</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:00am<b>random_cashmere</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>123ika</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:59am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:54am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:11am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:00am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:26pm<b>chandlerjohnvy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:34am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:19am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:43am

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (13086)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14922) - you deserved it (42961)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (44082)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (44082)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (3078)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46418) - you deserved it (8925)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (32544)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51830) - you deserved it (17587)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while we were acting in a play. FML

#16323253
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39389) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (8585)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

#16311438
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (2825)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by dumbteacher -

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36909) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8767) - you deserved it (23915)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (20240)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10300) - you deserved it (20538)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: