Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16270
  • Number of comments : 854
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - yesterday at 10:59am<b>EpicGuy70</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:45am<b>howard007</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:55am<b>Baikal</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:42am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:09am<b>Buhhhlainaaaa</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:14am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:53am<b>yumad_aiden</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:45am<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 5:51pm<b>JCep</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Roxy41013</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:56pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:01pm<b>ninaor</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 7:08am<b>LostMy_Marbles</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:38am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:00am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:53pm

Liked!<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64624) - you deserved it (6748)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41830) - you deserved it (3761)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38922) - you deserved it (15635)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (9765)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50127) - you deserved it (3533)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (29749)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

#16708648
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (10833)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by catherine - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

#16704546
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9195) - you deserved it (29118)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:16am - work - by illiterate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12684) - you deserved it (57986)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (37108)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

#16605996
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38622) - you deserved it (5719)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by mbesameh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (3461) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

#16560857
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (3767)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by cheersdaddy (woman) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (3486)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: