Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20011
  • Number of comments : 886
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Alm1ghty_Push</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:20pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:46pm<b>summerlong</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:45am<b>Dustdevil</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:19pm<b>chandeliers</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:24am<b>l_dunno</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:02am<b>swag420xoxo</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:13pm<b>jaredph</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:02am<b>upandover</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:12am<b>Silentnope</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:54am<b>adankaz2014</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:54am<b>itprosam</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:27am<b>Jdawg84</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:02pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:27pm<b>guckylynn</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:38pm<b>forever_sushi</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - yesterday at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (4979)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML

#17267711
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (30491)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by badbride - United States (California)

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

#17267677
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (17735)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18344) - you deserved it (34474)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (3038)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

#17260733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (36340)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (27329)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (7448)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38020) - you deserved it (5332)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12392) - you deserved it (56777)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39769) - you deserved it (8438)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

#17239646
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (17166)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:22am - love - by oouchh (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (3551)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52207) - you deserved it (6205)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was directing traffic at work during one of the hottest days of the year. Not only do I have to stand in the heat and exhaust fumes for minimum wage, I also had to endure people asking me "Aren't you hot?" as they drove past me in their air conditioned cars. FML

#17233240
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:01pm - work - by Sarah - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: