About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
by froggylicious / 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by secret dancer / 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Work
by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML
by Motherly Love / 08/14/2011 at 6:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm / France / Love
by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
by fml / 08/12/2011 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
by Musicfan / 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Work
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous