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NeatNit

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NeatNit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13057
  • Number of comments : 817
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>random_cashmere</b> - 12 hours ago<b>123ika</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Jreslier</b> - 18 hours ago<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Zoey_M</b> - 21 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:00am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:26pm<b>chandlerjohnvy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:34am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:19am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:43am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:30am<b>Bloink</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:58am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:04am<b>redneck_wolf</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:30am<b>bitemeimirish</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>stoylie97</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:39pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60307) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (9020)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49308) - you deserved it (4134)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63554) - you deserved it (4745)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (45853)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52865) - you deserved it (9142)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (62746)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79369) - you deserved it (7226)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58629) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (10141)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54234) - you deserved it (5205)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (6454)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58019) - you deserved it (3966)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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