Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22000
  • Number of comments : 903
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>Kashkofer</b> - 18 hours ago<b>chidofrito</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:31am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Static331k</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:43am<b>llamingo</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:03am<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:22am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:34pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:44pm<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:08pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:03am<b>facelick</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brosteptwinner</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:29pm<b>NakuEh</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:14pm<b>rouslov</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:42am<b>Ben12345</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Unbearable</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:14am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (4499)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56457) - you deserved it (6391)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44118) - you deserved it (13951)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (10393)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50326) - you deserved it (5032)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57086) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54749) - you deserved it (5263)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39095) - you deserved it (18631)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50299) - you deserved it (28082)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60564) - you deserved it (4400)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (9046)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49509) - you deserved it (4148)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65752) - you deserved it (4909)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: