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NeatNit

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NeatNit

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14036
  • Number of comments : 836
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>lizardFace</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:17am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:30am<b>xleanne_aLly</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:42pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:01am<b>fleckney26</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 5:24am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 8:09am<b>groovy579</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:43pm<b>raymanthegreat</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Floortje</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:09am<b>alicat089</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:20pm<b>IMCH</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:06pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:59am<b>CRPSbloke</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:32pm<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:34am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:00pm<b>so_smooth</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:35pm<b>hannahruth</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:07am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 8:00pm

Liked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (5342)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (6615)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49544) - you deserved it (10684)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (7342)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54257) - you deserved it (6165)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43942) - you deserved it (13909)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (10218)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (4864)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54857) - you deserved it (4531)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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