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NeatNit

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NeatNit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12999
  • Number of comments : 813
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:00am<b>BreadstickFTW</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:51pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:26pm<b>chandlerjohnvy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:34am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:19am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:43am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:30am<b>Bloink</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:58am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:04am<b>redneck_wolf</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:30am<b>bitemeimirish</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>stoylie97</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:39pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:19am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:54am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:52am<b>iunpossible</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:35pm<b>japodoz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:55pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (6343)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (35912)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40638) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (4867)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45117) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43886) - you deserved it (2993)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (12276)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42797) - you deserved it (3051)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (4191)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a 'young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans' crackpot. FML

#20896509
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (7185)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:06am - love - by GodSquad (man) - United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (5337)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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