Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

40Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25270
  • Number of comments : 1014
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>thatnakedguy</b> - yesterday at 5:16am<b>mcsammo11</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:09pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:08pm<b>MsMicaelaAnn</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:23pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:11pm<b>typical_teenager</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:56am<b>mahughes</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:33am<b>SarahSmith17</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:05pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Anti_Sora</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:29am<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:39am<b>Mini_Mirage</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:17am<b>Sora_McKain</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:31am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:21pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:11am<b>zach205</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:40pm<b>zevida</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:26am<b>xChaos</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:11am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chloe_renae55</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:42pm<b>LilRedRobinHood</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:58am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:46pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:21am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:32am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:23am<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:05am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:52am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:36am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:08am

NeatNit's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (3674)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
279 comments

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (4149)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

#20142449
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (1750)

On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (76248)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (3159)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (3573)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4973) - you deserved it (37346) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (2314)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: