Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Online | Search for a member

NeatNit

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20870
  • Number of comments : 889
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>jennlody</b> - yesterday at 5:39am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - yesterday at 11:35pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:43pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 9:44am<b>thesawgmizer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:59pm<b>ari_x3dv</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:45pm<b>katjas</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:27pm<b>kkuruno</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:01pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:43am<b>Alm1ghty_Push</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:20pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:46pm<b>summerlong</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:45am<b>Dustdevil</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:19pm<b>chandeliers</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:24am<b>l_dunno</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:02am<b>swag420xoxo</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:10am<b>Amdojin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:05pm<b>fmllolkkmj</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:06am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:00am<b>higuysilikepie</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:26pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (2234)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

#19994423
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (5680)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (5999)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (2300)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2879)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (7965)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5658) - you deserved it (39764)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (10900)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (17279)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9387) - you deserved it (62866)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5057) - you deserved it (42108)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (2405)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (27959)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11472) - you deserved it (38259)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: