About NeatNit : The guy with the nose.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (6299)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (2808)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17109) - you deserved it (1528)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10466) - you deserved it (1961)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14475) - you deserved it (3430)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (2015)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (4400)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4773) - you deserved it (22479)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (1888)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11789) - you deserved it (3883)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (1441)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (1441)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)
Monday 20 May 2013
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