Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

40Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25268
  • Number of comments : 1014
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>thatnakedguy</b> - 21 hours ago<b>mcsammo11</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:09pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:08pm<b>MsMicaelaAnn</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:23pm<b>Fgjvshnb</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:11pm<b>typical_teenager</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:56am<b>mahughes</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:33am<b>SarahSmith17</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:05pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Anti_Sora</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:29am<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:39am<b>Mini_Mirage</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:17am<b>Sora_McKain</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:31am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:21pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:11am<b>zach205</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:40pm<b>zevida</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:26am<b>xChaos</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:11am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chloe_renae55</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:40pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:42pm<b>LilRedRobinHood</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:58am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:46pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:21am<b>beautifulmymy</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:32am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:23am<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:05am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:52am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:36am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:08am

NeatNit's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (5911)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47301) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (50462)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (9108)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (2126)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (6396) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (2353)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35484) - you deserved it (3655)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (18195)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (13344)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (4669)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35299) - you deserved it (3526)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (7006)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: