NeatNit

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NeatNit

51Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 26911
  • Number of comments : 1055
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>marcus_1028</b> - yesterday at 8:51am<b>French_giirl</b> - yesterday at 5:59pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 6:07am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 4:55pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:33pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:21am<b>zyperman43</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:21am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:15am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 5:10pm<b>DraconicFeline</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:22pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 11:14pm<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>jdahle</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 3:25pm<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:27pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:44pm<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 7:05am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:59pm

Fucked!<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 8:21am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 3:29am<b>psychoIogical</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 3:41am<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:14pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 10:13pm<b>samiam_123</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 12:38pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:32pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:56pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 6:03pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:11am<b>zach205</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:40pm<b>zevida</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:26am<b>xChaos</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:11am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:31pm<b>chloe_renae55</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:40pm

NeatNit's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 4:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

by I Tried / 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML

by ashamed / 11/25/2015 at 10:50am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

by anthony / 11/25/2015 at 7:32am / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy