About NeatNit : The guy with the nose.
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Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31024) - you deserved it (2834)
On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34053) - you deserved it (4285)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (3157)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (5286)
On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (20331)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (59818)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53567) - you deserved it (2676)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48481) - you deserved it (4637)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States
Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (5410)
On 06/05/2013 at 12:25am - work - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41286) - you deserved it (3029)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (3949)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (4829)
On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (3264)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (3703)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (6101)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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