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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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NeatNit

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NeatNit
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1111
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (5730) - you deserved it (536)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (1528) - you deserved it (13916)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (5997) - you deserved it (939)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (5071) - you deserved it (895)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (779)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (1301) - you deserved it (9123)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (6184) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (499)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (11071) - you deserved it (1093)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (8440) - you deserved it (717) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (9531) - you deserved it (1135)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (2935) - you deserved it (4069)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

#18974809 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (577)

On 02/02/2012 at 5:28am - money - by carssuck - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

#18968605 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (1771)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (1037)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)