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NeatNit

Offline (the 07/19/2014 at 11:59am) | Search for a member

NeatNit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10817
  • Number of comments : 776
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Thedudebroman</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:50pm<b>boxofries</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:18pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:35pm<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:38am<b>Hashk</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:26am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:20pm<b>coolifly</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Firewar</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:32pm<b>shine999</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:16pm<b>MrsDavehn</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:54pm<b>jaquie0812</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:55am<b>Brittany_Leann</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:25am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:22am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:15am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:58am<b>CyborgBanana</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:17pm

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NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (5762)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47990) - you deserved it (4708)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (16776)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48900) - you deserved it (6051)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49615) - you deserved it (3879)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49792) - you deserved it (6928)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

#21125215
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41722) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/28/2014 at 11:38am - love - by salad - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (55433)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33823) - you deserved it (11801)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48825) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50904) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (5180)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML



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