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Mr_Plague

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Mr_Plague

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1561
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Mr_Plague's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm

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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (24613)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (2440)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (2969)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (3997)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (31290)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (10012)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (10044)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40613) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML

#17827650
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (3484)

On 09/25/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Eric Moore - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

#17826214
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10162) - you deserved it (29885)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (4367)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (4119)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (11354)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (11354)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

#17810951
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (6779)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:16am - intimacy - by kdmoney - United States (California)



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