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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…