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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
- Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him… Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week.… Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for…
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…