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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by joser6969 / 10/29/2011 at 10:07am / United States / Work
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML
by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking… Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making… Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first…