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Mr_Plague

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Mr_Plague

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1451
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Mr_Plague's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm

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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (5355)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

#18528307
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (12381)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22645) - you deserved it (7189)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42106) - you deserved it (5129)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (3406)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (87225)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (70967)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

#18458873
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/08/2011 at 5:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (18413)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12950) - you deserved it (41144)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

#18451156
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (2650)

On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)



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