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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm / Mexico (Zacatecas) / Miscellaneous
by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
by thathurt / 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by steve / 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed / 12/20/2011 at 6:49am / Mauritius / Miscellaneous
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…