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by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by ???? / 01/25/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Health
by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
by unholy shit / 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML
by FuturePolice / 01/23/2012 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:45am / Russian Federation / Intimacy
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy
by MyHeadHurts / 01/20/2012 at 5:42am / Ireland / Intimacy