Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mr_Plague

Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 10:28pm) | Search for a member

Mr_Plague

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2218
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Mr_Plague's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:20am<b>CliffyB03</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:49am<b>chrisann1023</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:33am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:25am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:19am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm

Mr_Plague's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Mr_Plague's badges

Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
785 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70235) - you deserved it (14985)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (4161)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (48492)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (6293)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (6875)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59873) - you deserved it (5886)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49581) - you deserved it (14520)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43446) - you deserved it (4075)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71967) - you deserved it (9858)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
698 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74003) - you deserved it (16062)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (7026)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (64619)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44700) - you deserved it (11912)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15099) - you deserved it (44066)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: