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Mr_Plague

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Mr_Plague
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Mr_Plague's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61251) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (4654)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (44279)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (5879)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (6161)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56862) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (13069)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (3554)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66913) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67727) - you deserved it (14663)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37289) - you deserved it (6637)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (60046)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (37515)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)



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