Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Miss_Michaela : All I can say is if you are able to fit your whole life in this box, you have had a boring one.
I do love England. LEFT HAND DRIVE FOR THE GODDAMN WIN!
I don't get people who don't know or don't care about the difference between their/there/they're, your/you're and were/where/we're. Here is a Full Stop: . Please use it.
My hates: Having 'xx and/or 'lol'' on the end of everything. People who aren't sun kissed, but sun raped. Oh, and what is the point of having the same pose in every profile picture? The kind of people who put 'You' in their mahossive list of hates. Yes, I have a gargantuan list, but do you see 'You' anywhere? Message me if you're one of them. In addition to the previous listed hate, those who name their favourite commenters. I don't give a toss who you dribble over and search desperately for in your spare time. Coffee = Yuck.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. If you're still here, well done. You get a hypothetical gold star.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
Friday 19 December 2014