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About Miss_Michaela : All I can say is if you are able to fit your whole life in this box, you have had a boring one.
I do love England. LEFT HAND DRIVE FOR THE GODDAMN WIN!
I don't get people who don't know or don't care about the difference between their/there/they're, your/you're and were/where/we're. Here is a Full Stop: . Please use it.
My hates: Having 'xx and/or 'lol'' on the end of everything. People who aren't sun kissed, but sun raped. Oh, and what is the point of having the same pose in every profile picture? The kind of people who put 'You' in their mahossive list of hates. Yes, I have a gargantuan list, but do you see 'You' anywhere? Message me if you're one of them. In addition to the previous listed hate, those who name their favourite commenters. I don't give a toss who you dribble over and search desperately for in your spare time. Coffee = Yuck.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. If you're still here, well done. You get a hypothetical gold star.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Monday 1 September 2014