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LICUSTOMCAR

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LICUSTOMCAR
  • Town/Country : Amityville , usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 June 1972 (41 years)
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LICUSTOMCAR's favorite FMLs

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4786) - you deserved it (33243)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (4312)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (4312)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (1792)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (1967)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (17551)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (6375)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (4605)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (16326)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (2171)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (1846)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (23730)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10287) - you deserved it (37391)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (24158)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States



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