Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jonaahhhh

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jonaahhhh

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 February 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1522
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonaahhhh : Hello! I am a rhythm guitarist/lead singer in a post hardcore/metal/hard rock band. I enjoy drawing as well. I've had the app for a couple years and decided to make an account. I enjoy the usual commenters. I especially enjoy well made puns. My comments tend to be hit or miss, so forgive me if the comment you viewed seems asinine... It made sense in my head ;)

Jonaahhhh's page activity

Visits<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 12:29am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:56pm<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 2:46am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:21am<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 3:17pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:51am<b>KendraLaine</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:01am<b>MeiyaTheAmazing</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:41pm<b>imonkeyface</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:00am<b>carry_on</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:15am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 6:16am<b>LilDELTAWHISKY</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:47pm<b>emala1096</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 10:04pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Jaevwyn</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 3:02am<b>ivans_3</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 8:11pm<b>CareFace</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 8:59pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 8:50pm

Jonaahhhh's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Jonaahhhh's badges

Jonaahhhh's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44844) - you deserved it (5771)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (7207)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53584) - you deserved it (3906)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (10318)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (2759)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (4000)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (2084)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (2084)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (5282)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (8031)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (5637)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (5452)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: