About GossipGirlBitch : Suck my cock, motherfucker!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (4938)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51539) - you deserved it (7138)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6044) - you deserved it (83836)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62222) - you deserved it (10398)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5854) - you deserved it (34337)
On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (5198)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (38736)
On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50901) - you deserved it (8192)
On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57196) - you deserved it (5243)
On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107995) - you deserved it (6886)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12475) - you deserved it (45751)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61919) - you deserved it (6082)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I ran for the train that was about to leave. I tried to hold the doors open with my leg and got stuck. The conductor just yelled out how unbelievable and ridiculous I was and waited 2 minutes to finally release me. Everyone was laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (12511)
On 03/14/2009 at 11:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (9644)
On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35311) - you deserved it (11783)
On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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