About GossipGirlBitch : Cats need love too.
GossipGirlBitch's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
GossipGirlBitch's favorite FMLs
Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML
by stepknee / 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML
by ColdFoot / 10/03/2009 at 2:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
by unloved / 10/01/2009 at 10:25am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by cl512 / 09/18/2009 at 9:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
by iceman123432 / 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
by Mirroronthewall / 08/30/2009 at 11:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
by Anonymous / 07/28/2009 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
by FailureAtLife121 / 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML
by kam3221 / 05/01/2009 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous