About GossipGirlBitch : Suck my cock, motherfucker!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44149) - you deserved it (2916)
On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (20967)
On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6171) - you deserved it (21434)
On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (3217)
On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18172) - you deserved it (32116)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (6644)
On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16286) - you deserved it (15350)
On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (5705)
On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)
Today, a friend convinced me that I should throw a big party and invite everyone to come. After fixing a ton of party food, I sat around and waited for my guests to arrive. No one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (2313)
On 11/21/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by tealsoda (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (1150)
On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (1621)
On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (4705)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (1398)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (2850)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11209) - you deserved it (29477)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Mirroronthewall (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
