About GossipGirlBitch : Suck my cock, motherfucker!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (3667)
On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you deserved it (2074)
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (4927)
On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (1603)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6723) - you deserved it (47324)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (4317)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12648) - you deserved it (21624)
On 01/12/2012 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (3708)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by hannaaaahr (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (1958)
On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (4258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (2167)
On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (2204)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (2555)
On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States
Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (1513)
On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (3397)
Monday 17 June 2013
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