Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ginger_Bastard

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ginger_Bastard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 739
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ginger_Bastard's page activity

Visits<b>drizzy11</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:56pm

Ginger_Bastard's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Ginger_Bastard's badges

Ginger_Bastard's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52826) - you deserved it (10536)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11026) - you deserved it (56879)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (10470)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11651) - you deserved it (39285)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (57535)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

#16301651
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49496) - you deserved it (3854)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (20238)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

#16237005
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

#15767181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (7441)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

#15714143
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (28510)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Arran (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

#15368497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48882) - you deserved it (10068)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (56219)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (3363)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

#14925146
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (4243)

On 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: