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Futacy

Offline (yesterday at 11:14pm) | Search for a member

Futacy

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7730
  • Number of comments : 1172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Futacy : Okay first off, I don't really live in Baltimore, I just picked it because this website doesn't let you name your state, which in my case is Maryland. The city I actually live in is called Columbia, and there are 22 other cities in the US with the same name. I counted.

Second, yes, my profile pic is of a mutant two-headed Stewie makeout session. Enjoy.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>sarkycow</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:06am<b>imeanwhynot</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:14pm<b>nunley2</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:13am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:08am<b>Laughatmylife0</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:08pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:36am<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>silkyred</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:28am<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:36pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:51pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:06am<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:18am<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:29am<b>ForkymeetsPorky</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:18am

Fucked!<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm<b>emmzy_em</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:45pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:15am<b>Quantummonkeya</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:09pm<b>JoeyTheJubilent</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:23am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:08am<b>platinumbking</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>princessluka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:41pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53904) - you deserved it (10233)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

#16351736
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/26/2011 at 12:15am - intimacy - by blahblah493 - United States

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (14984)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

#16153880
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (7713)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by ctop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (19178)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52533) - you deserved it (8339)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52108) - you deserved it (8375)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (44690)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (4086)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10467) - you deserved it (29465)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (4068)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (51416)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40676) - you deserved it (4073)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

#6708015
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (6294)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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