About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*
Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.
One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (1609)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)
Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (4559)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (2735)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (1424)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (3425)
On 11/09/2009 at 11:02pm - love - by amanda_ae_erin (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (4664)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91574) - you deserved it (27416)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58598) - you deserved it (156899)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177841) - you deserved it (25396)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (1983)
On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)
Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (2039)
On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113482) - you deserved it (6693)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was to late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61783) - you deserved it (2686)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57385) - you deserved it (3483)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Monday 20 May 2013
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