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Futacy

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Futacy

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7717
  • Number of comments : 1172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Futacy : Okay first off, I don't really live in Baltimore, I just picked it because this website doesn't let you name your state, which in my case is Maryland. The city I actually live in is called Columbia, and there are 22 other cities in the US with the same name. I counted.

Second, yes, my profile pic is of a mutant two-headed Stewie makeout session. Enjoy.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>sarkycow</b> - yesterday at 4:06am<b>imeanwhynot</b> - yesterday at 11:14pm<b>nunley2</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:13am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:08am<b>Laughatmylife0</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:08pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:36am<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>silkyred</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:28am<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:36pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:51pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:06am<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:18am<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:29am<b>ForkymeetsPorky</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:18am

Fucked!<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm<b>emmzy_em</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:45pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:15am<b>Quantummonkeya</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:09pm<b>JoeyTheJubilent</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:23am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:08am<b>platinumbking</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>princessluka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:41pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51506) - you deserved it (5889)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

#16616782
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (3749)

On 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm - misc - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (5148)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57519) - you deserved it (7198)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (7145)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (3678) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (12414)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (4560)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (12440)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (8035)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (11119)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52522) - you deserved it (3865)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12755) - you deserved it (49899)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (14767)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (40295)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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